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Sunny Inner Void

by Sinevvave

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1.
Sunny 05:11
all out of focus i’m in the stars i didn’t notice fixated on the scars like a fugitive on the run every disappointment led me to the sun and you ran and you ran with it be that as it may i wish to walk this earth unscathed trade in the glitter soles embrace the soil i wish to walk these earthen halls unscathed trade in these glittered soles embrace the soil be that as it may i wish to walk this earth unscathed trade in the glitter soles embrace the soil faults in the optimist can’t deny the pain lights up the nihilist suffering in vain i was delusional buying into all the surface shit i was sold
2.
Sailboating 05:12
you’re running out of time to make it right for yourself you're chasing after chances to make it right for everyone else and you will never sort it right because every time you get it you throw it away you’ll wear yourself out trying to hide from your shadow you wear the mask you’ve seen the glass it’s all you have to save yourself and this will never make it right because every time you get it you run it away you’re running out of time to make it right for yourself your boat has sailed you stood and watched it’s all gone before your eyes that boat has sailed
3.
our children’s children roam along stripped of their agency but still breathing like sleeping animals our children’s children roam along right as rain posh as peonies and these steel scented creatures roam along of their own volition ungodly like sleeping animals neither superior nor inferior a fleet of roamers feeding off love the intentions are there festering in a deep sleep
4.
Mermaid 04:36
why don’t you call me we could be friends comets and colors you don’t understand your best is the worst you're my mermaid the tickle of a tear makes you human while the surface blinds us from cutting all ties and drifting away your worst is the best you're my mermaid
5.
The Mirror 04:41
these dreams i’ve been having gave way to doubts of simple living the frequency is so unclear becomes static when you are near i needed you then like i need you now i wanted to tell you but i didn’t know how i got lost in all i wanted i needed you then like i need you now i wanted to tell you but i didn’t know how this is the mirror i was afraid of when i was locked up you were locked out i promise i’m better now they keep telling me to let it go but i have to let you know i needed you then like i need you now i wanted to tell you but i didn’t know how i got lost in all i wanted i needed you then like i need you now i wanted to tell you but i didn’t know how this is the mirror i was afraid of i promise to let you in next time…next time
6.
Encompass 06:58
i will join you all will be released we’ll float not as bad as it seems encompass everything offered up undeniably extended yourself yet got nothing in return encompass everything every note you couldn't hear every picture so much clearer for what the sun can’t erase i wish you well forgive us, forgive forgiveness granted
7.
you learn a language to confide in your ghosts i can’t compete with them these shadow puppets your old habits are my new grievances every time i had my back turned you let the sadist take the wheel greedy vampire quite the glutton for pain your old habits are my new grievances you‘ve paid your misery forward now your mask is wearing out predation for validation beyond recognition your old habits are my new grievances in a dilapidated stairwell a fire brings us home there’s strength in numbers now serenity marc my words it’s a shame you have to wake up and still be you living with the things you’ve done and the things you’ll do
8.
Oxygenate 04:04
in a white flash i’ve returned to the atom fields i’ve returned to finish what I started but at what cost? in a white flash a sunny disposition became an antiquated notion in a white flash the catalyst became the culprit for deep breaths oxygenate this man oxygenate this plan oxygenate this man oxygenate this land deep breaths
9.
we swim in distant seas yet we feel the same heartbeat we know it’ll never happen it’s too late to start again we wait it out on a desert bench never knowing when the tide will come we know it will never happen it’s too late to start again we sit under the same moon cursing our separate wounds we know it will never happen it all ended too soon i won’t allow this to suppress our joy so keen on laws to inflict suffer i won’t let this desecrate it all let’s wash ourselves of temptation to suffer
10.
Catatonia 02:48
some are born to endless night it’s only a matter of time and nothing else until we are incapacitated until we are senile until we are catatonic until we are taciturn til then…. be great for all to notice to destroy be small and escape the intolerant great until we are incapacitated until we are senile until we are catatonic until we are taciturn til then….
11.
Cloaked 04:32
waking up suddenly during the matinee to resignation one for the books out of nowhere it grew cloaked from the root it’s the elephant in the room it’s the ringing in your ears it’s all you have it’s all you have its a deadly game we play but we do it all the time it’s bound to break somewhere, someday and it’s a struggle to take the higher road so you go lonely downtown walking to round up the pity party you escaped by the skin of your teeth out of nowhere it grew cloaked from the root out of nowhere it's cloaked
12.
no one’s going to read what you say no one’s going to hear you anyway it’s bound to fall on deaf ears a reception of blank stares but we tried to make an effort for synchronicity we reached and we failed our synchronicity but we tried to make an effort for synchronicity we reached but couldn’t get to a synchronicity you don’t get it it’s right behind you sometimes always sometimes never breathing down your neck but you wouldn’t know it sometimes always sometimes never but we tried to make an effort for synchronicity we reached and we failed our synchronicity turn around look up turn around look down to be in sync with all to be in sync with you to be synched with you to be synched with all
13.
by the time i was at the deep end you decided you were done you say you want it but you don’t i never asked you to open doors you’ve done enough walked me into flames you’ve done enough i had my ignorance to blame but it was needed the setting sun it had to happen a necessary lesson did i internalize too much? should i have expressed more? would it have scared you? is my realness and truth what we needed? my biggest fault was getting wrapped up and carried away in your false promises to fix it to make it better
14.
the sky was black the silver linings didn’t shine bright enough drowning in a shallow pool is where it all went wrong looking up the meaning to every song a let go is in order like the skin we shed distant not forgotten as to not repeat our mistakes again things are meant to be the things you said things are meant to be stay put help is on the way if something is awry and nothing is alright just take it in stride don’t push it aside we’ll get there tonight stumble as you walk and fumble with the lock everything is too dark some weird culture shock in a sea of grey glows a white dot miss it in the morning miss it in the evening it’s a delicate thing, a delicate thing the skeptics are only pretending kisses where it counts and touches all around the scene fades out white noise from the crowd the loss outweighed by what was found

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For Augustus

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released June 9, 2022

All songs written and produced by Alex Castro
Guitar on track 2 by Daniel Levy
Track 8 contains samples of 'Love' and 'Whispers' from the iOS app, Thicket by Morgan Packard and Joshue Ott
Track 8 contains a sample of cello by Distant Cowboy

Artwork based on a creation from hypnogram.xyz

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Sinevvave Seattle, Washington

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